Is Saving the Planet Embarrassing Now?

Why the Viral “Boyfriend” Debate Is Actually About Climate, Systems Change, and Self-Empowerment (too)

When Vogue published “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?”, it struck a deep, cultural chord. The article captured a generational mood — a questioning of old norms, a rejection of blind allegiance to outdated roles, and an embrace of autonomy. But beyond dating and gender politics, it also echoes a far larger truth: our relationship with the planet is going through a similar reckoning.

Just as many women are re-evaluating their relationship to traditional gender roles and heterosexuality, humanity is re-evaluating its relationship to the systems that shaped modern life — extractive economies, colonial models of power, and a culture of consumption that’s now driving the triple planetary crisis of climate change, biodiversity loss, and pollution.

From Relationship Status to Earth Status: Questioning the “Old Normal”

In Vogue’s piece, many women expressed that having a boyfriend now feels, well, a bit embarrassing. Not because love is embarrassing, but because of what it symbolizes — conformity, dependency, or complicity in an outdated story about womanhood.

In the same way, many people now feel uneasy about participating in the old story of “progress” — the one that told us to measure success by economic growth, consumption, and dominance over nature. It’s not that we’re against innovation or advancement; it’s that we’re realizing those systems don’t align with who we want to be anymore.

We don’t want to be seen as clinging to something that’s hurting us — just as some women don’t want to appear tied to old gender scripts, many of us don’t want to appear tied to a planetary system built on exploitation.

The embarrassment, in both cases, comes from awakening — from realizing that we’ve been told to be proud of something that doesn’t actually serve us.

The Real Shift: From Dependence to Agency

The Vogue article points to a fascinating social shift: it’s no longer “cool” to define yourself by your partner. Likewise, it’s becoming uncool to define ourselves by the systems we inherited — governments, corporations, or political ideologies that insist change must come from the top down.

The truth? It never really did.

Whether in relationships or climate systems, power is shifting toward personal and collective agency. We’re rediscovering that we have the right — and responsibility — to create new ways of being.

Just as women are learning they don’t need validation through a boyfriend to feel whole, humanity is learning it doesn’t need validation from outdated systems to evolve. The systems change we need starts with recognizing that we are not powerless — that agency belongs to all of us, not the few who profit from keeping things the same.

Ending Our Toxic Relationship With the Old World

Think of our global relationship with fossil fuels, overconsumption, and disconnection as the “boyfriend” we keep going back to — even though we know it’s bad for us. We keep hoping it will change, that it will start “acting right.”

But as one viral comment on the Vogue piece put it, “Boyfriends are out of style. They won’t come back in until they start acting right.”

The same could be said for our global systems. We can love humanity, innovation, and progress — without clinging to the toxic patterns that harm the planet. Ending that relationship isn’t about bitterness or blame; it’s about self-respect. About knowing we deserve better — and can create better.

Beyond the War of the Sexes — and the War on Nature

Here’s the critical thing: this isn’t a war of the sexes, and climate change isn’t a war on “the enemy.”

Just as modern feminism isn’t about hating men, systems change isn’t about hating corporations or technology. It’s about acknowledging agency — everyone’s agency — and finding new balance.

We need collaboration, not polarization. Recognition, not rivalry. The triple planetary crisis demands the same energy shift that’s happening in cultural feminism — from competition to connection, from domination to mutual thriving.

This isn’t a war to be won. It’s a relationship to be healed.

Reclaiming Our Power: From Self-Conscious to Self-Connected

In the Vogue story, women spoke of embarrassment, superstition, and self-censorship — hiding their relationships online for fear of judgment or envy. In our planetary story, we do something similar: we hide our love for nature behind cynicism or irony, afraid to look naïve for caring “too much.”

But that’s changing. Reconnection is the new rebellion.

People are gardening again, organizing community repair projects, starting local food networks, embracing slow fashion, and rediscovering joy in shared purpose. This is the new “soft power” — grounded, authentic, relational.

It’s not about performative virtue; it’s about coming home to ourselves, each other, and the Earth.

A New Flex: Being in Right Relationship

In Vogue’s world, being single became a flex — a symbol of freedom and self-trust. In the world of systems change, being in “right relationship” is the new flex.

Right relationship means living with awareness. It means seeing the Earth not as a resource, but as a partner. It means knowing that agency isn’t something we’re given — it’s something we reclaim.

So maybe the real question isn’t “Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?”
It’s “Is staying in a broken system embarrassing now?”

Because if we truly want to evolve — personally, collectively, and ecologically — it’s time to stop waiting for permission and start writing our own story.

A story where connection is strength, care is cool, and agency belongs to all of us.